Posted 2:10 PM by Lodger
Now on to the day to day. I have a confession to make. I've been a bit bummed lately. Work has been a grind. I was finding myself dreading going in each day, facing those bloody year nines. And, of course, they have SATS tests coming up which I have to prepare them for and some of them love to tell me how they are learning nothing in my class and that they are going to crap out on their SATS all because of me. Nice, eh? So, as I say, I was kind of bummed.

Last weekend was a nice reprieve from all of that. Sheilagh and her flatmates had a dinner party on Friday and a full on house party on Saturday (it was Sheilagh's birthday). Manami came in from Birmingham on Friday and, after some tasty lasagne and a wee bit o' wine, Sheilagh, Manami and I had quite the intense bitchfest about work. This went to about 2AM. Felt good to let it all out.

Saturday night was great. There was an interesting mix of people. As usual, there was the UBC crew of Canadian teachers. Also a nice selection of Brits, a few Aussies, and the lovely Marianne from Northern Ireland. I'm beginning to feel very fortunate to be meeting all of these interesting people, although it isn't lost on me that I spend most of my time socializing with other Canadians. What's up with that? I guess its natural... we're all going through the same thing. First year of teaching, experiencing a new country, etc. Anyway... ended up in room singing songs with Carrie from UBC via Salmon Arm... Crowded House, The Beatles, White Stripes... we did a lovely rendition of Madonna's 'The Power of Goodbye.' At various times others wandered in, joined in the singing or just watched, sometimes laughing at our off-key warbling (some of those songs are damn tough!). Lindsay from UBC via Kelowna passed out right beside us just as the singing began and I'm told she said the next morning that it was too bad nobody pulled out the guitar for a sing-along. She was a bit tipsy I guess.

The next morning Carrie and I, being the only two who were not completely dead to the world, decided to head in to Central London for the day. Took in Speaker's Corner at Hyde Park, which wasn't too great that day to be honest... lots of angry ranting about the war... a guy who claimed to be Satan who seemed to insert felatio involving angels and other religious figures into his ramblings as much as possible... a guy reading an extremely sappy, cliche ridden poem dedicated to his wife who didn't seem to be present. We quit Speaker's Corner in a hurry. It was no big deal. The weather was gorgeous (18 degrees, baby). Took in a few classic tunes performed by a string quintet in Covent Garden, then decided to check out the Cabinet War Rooms, which was more interesting than I thought it would be. For those who don't know, they are the fortified bunker type war meeting rooms where Churchill, his cabinet, and his staff resided during the bombing raids. Some of it was quite moving, especially audio recordings of Churchill's speeches to the nation at the time. After that, we went to a pub for dinner and a pint, and then to another pub for another pint. And then home... her to Nottingham, me to Croydon. Good news. She's moving to London over Easter break. Another Canadian close by to hang out with. Woo-hoo! Who knew there would be so many ex-UBCers over here? It's been fun.

So, it was back to work on Monday and I was as low as ever (this entry's quite a roller coaster eh? Welcome to my life.) Tuesday I got to the point where I was starting to weigh my options. Daily supply teaching was beginning to look good. No marking. Less responsibility. Less emotional investment. I decided to talk to the Deputy Head and let him know what I was thinking. Turned out it was the best thing I could have done. We talked for over an hour, and he put everything into perspective for me and made me feel like a valuable member of the staff. I began my day on Wednesday with a newly found faith in my abilities. That day my year seven creative writing club met for the first time. It was unbelievable! The students who showed up were so sweet and we all got very excited about the prospect of publishing something online by the end of the year. Two students even brought scones and cookies! What a life-saver. Just when you begin to feel down, something can always come along to boost your spirits again. I really needed it. That night I experienced my first parent's evening... year sevens. 61 sets of parents! I'm told it's a staff record. You see, I naively tried to accomodate as many parents as I could ( I teach three year seven classes.) But funny thing... even though it was exhausting and I honestly don't remember certain stretches of the evening, I realized as I talked to these parents about their children that I really have gotten to know a lot of these kids. I HAVE AN EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT IN THIS. I care about my students. I want them to do well. I am willing to make to put in the time to make it happen. I am dedicated to these students and to this school. Holy shit! 48 hours and everything has changed.

You see, I think to do this job well, you've got to jump in with all you've got. You've got to believe that you can make a difference. When you start believing that you're not doing a good job, you start to believe you're not making a difference, or even worse, that you're fucking up and that your students are suffering because of it. Thus, being told you are doing a good job is crucial. Seeing your own positive influence, whether it be through something like a Creative Writing Club, or through comments made by a parents or colleagues, can make all the difference. Let's face it. This is not a job you want to do poorly. I have real influence (although, it is dangerous to over-estimate that influence, as I have learned... we can not hold ourselves absolutely responsible for our students' achievement or lack thereof). Anyway, I'm rambling.

But it is nice to turn a corner. I feel like I can now look forward to next year with hope and the realization that it will get easier and that I have the dedication and willpower to stick with it. After all... I made the decision to speak to Alan (the Deputy Head)... I started up the Creative Writing Club... I recognised things were wrong and I seeked out solutions. I feel damn good about that.

Oh yeah. On the travelling front. Going to Greece with Sheilagh and Lindsay over Easter Break! And then Paris in May, as I have already mentioned. Thought I'd mention it. Bit of a teaser. Till next time...

Posted 2:40 PM by Lodger
There is so much to tell, so much to unload... professional, personal, and recreational. Where does one start?

Lynn has gone back home to Vancouver and life has become more routine again. I did, of course, have my weekend in Paris, which was amazing. Arrived in Paris on the evening of March 7th at Charles De Gaulle airport, took the RER train and Metro to Lynn's sister's place in the Latin Quarter, and that evening Lynn took me out and showed me the local sights. Paris is as beautiful at night as it is during the day. The Seine and most of the landmarks are illuminated, and, in March, Paris, unlike London, is quite peaceful in the evenings, even on a Friday night. We walked along the Seine to the Isle de City and Notre Dame. It was midnight and I was tired from my day of teaching and travel, so I was far from being fully alert. As we approached the front of the cathedral from the side we were in deep conversation. I was probably rambling on and on about something work related as I tend to do after a week of struggling with my year nines. Lynn softly interupted me. "Look up to your right." I did, and looked upon the first of many beautiful sights I would be seeing over the next three days.

The next morning we made our way to Montmartre in the northern part of the city. It's like a small village within a large city (as many places are in Paris). Sacre Coeur, a beautiful church, sits atop Monmartre and is the city's highest point. The view was lovely, as was the church (you spend a lot of your time looking at beautiful churches in Paris - Catholics definitely worship in style). We wandered around through the side streets past shops and cafes, enjoyed a delicious cup of coffee (something one rarely finds in London) and just generally took in the vibe. Parisians, especially in an area like Montmartre, really seem to enjoy a relaxed, peaceful lifestyle. It is true that they enjoy life in a way we in North America (and in England, for that matter) have never learned; they do indeed make an art of living. The expression, 'food to die for,' must have originated in France. Everything tastes incredible. I paid almost five euros for five chocolates and after eating them did not feel at all as if I had overpaid, although I did make sure I didn't just gulp them down as I would 'Crunchie Bar.' Eventually, we made our way to the apartment where Vincent Van Gogh lived with his brother, Vincent, and I snapped a few shots. More wandering, more photos.

Saw the Moulin Rouge (didn't take in a show: one hundred euros. Ouch!) Walked past some of the sex shops. Was surprised to discover they have live sex shows in Paris.

That evening we went out for some dinner. Waited for a very long time for our table. Service was crappy. Food was okay. Our first experience of being treated like shit because we spoke English. Yay! But, for the most part, French people were nice to us. Just not there.

The next morning we went to the Bastille site and to an outdoor market nearby. Got some cool pictures. Later, in the afternoon, went to the Eiffel Tower and just hung out in the park for an hour and a bit. It was very peaceful, very laid back, very relaxing. We actually sat with our backs to the tower facing the park. It was enough to know the tower was just behind us and every so often we'd take a quick look over our shoulders just to make sure. Yep. We're sitting in front of the frickin Eiffel Tower. Very nice. Had the best falafel in the world that afternoon as well. If you're ever in Paris, go to the Jewish quarter and find out where the falafel place endorsed by Lenny Kravitz is and get the special falafel, the one with eggplant and cabbage and onions and three sauces (hummous, tzadziki and hot sauce!). Oh baby! It was sooooo good. Lynn couldn't stop talking about it and from a recent phone conversation, I believe she still can't stop talking about it. That's some damn good falafel. (And yes, it says right on the sign that Lenny Kravitz says its the best falafel in the world).

The next day we went to The Louvre and a gorgeous gated park called the Place de Vosges. Again, very peaceful.

It's strange. Paris is very much a concrete city. Even the Seine is completely banked on both sides by cement walkways, bridges etc. And yet the city's beauty is undeniable. It's so different from what we have at home. I'm sure if I stayed long enough I would miss the natural beauty that home, and even London, offer. I'm going back for a weekend in May with some friends, and again with Melissa in the summer. Somebody pinch me.

It was tough returning to work after such a fabulous weekend, but damnit! I am a professional (barely) and thus I sucked it up and faced the chumps (Manami's nickname for our lovely students for those who don't know). On Wednesday Lynn came back to London for her second leg of touring in the Southeast of England. We were pretty mellow after the intense siteseeing of Paris and London a few weeks back. Mostly hangin out in Croydon, dinners in, relaxing.

On the weekend we headed out to Oxford for what would be our final tourist venture. Oxford is very pretty. At dusk, the limestone buildings glow a faint yellow-orange colour and, on the one evening we had there, the moon was full, further adding to the sky's impressive glow. That night, after our final cream tea (another of Lynn's culinary addictions to go along with the falafel), we very spontaneously decided to take in a show. It was a play set in Trinidad in the 1950's called 'Moon On A Rainbow Shawl.' It was pretty good, although the ending left both of us kind of bummed out.

Sunday we did a walking tour of Oxford, learned stuff about the stuff we saw the day before (we often refered to our daily adventures as "doin' stuff." I highly recommend doin' stuff. It's fun.)

We got back to Croydon about dinner time. Hung out. Said goodbye the next morning before I headed to work. It was very nice to have a houseguest. It forced me to do more touristy stuff at a faster pace than I had been. When you live somewhere, no matter how interesting, you tend to say you'll do stuff next week or that you'll get to it eventually. Lynn got me into the tourist mindset and it was very exciting. Anyway...

Posted 10:09 AM by Lodger
Here's a first. An update to explain why I'm not updating. It's 6PM. I'm at work. I have year nine reports due tomorrow. I am exhausted. Not feeling sorry for myself, don't wan't to give that impression... just an explanation.

Some quick tidbits:

Lynn was here last week. We crammed about 8 days of activity into 5... visited Brighton, which was a blast. Saw a show (Blood Brothers). Walked miles and miles through central London. We had a lovely time. She is now in Paris visiting her sister where I will join her this weekend (have Monday booked off! woo-hoo!). Going to be amazing, I am sure.

It felt absolutely shitty going back to work after half term, but today, despite my exhaustion, I'm beginning to feel human again. My year seven creative writing club is beginning to take shape. Hoping to have first meeting next week. Year sevens are such darlings... I swear the older teenagers get the less mature they become (I'm sure any parents reading this right now are saying to themselves, 'No shit').

This really hasn't been a non-entry after all. A little short, but...